In a Funk

I've been in a personal funk.

 My mom's house sold.  This move to Colorado has been a few months in the making, but I just wasn't prepared for it to finally happen.  She's actually leaving us.  When she called me last Monday to tell me that her house sold I was at Natalia's swim lesson and I just started bawling.  I know kids grow up with their grandparents in another state all the time.  I'm just not doing so well with it being my kids.  Our next baby (no we aren't pregnant) won't have the same relationship with her that Natalia and Lydia do.  No more sleepovers with Grandma.  There's nothing I can do about this other then wish my mom luck and just deal with it.  But I'm not dealing with it very well right now.

I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of being mean. I'm tired of losing my patience with the girls (especially Natalia) at the drop of the pin.  I'm tired of being snippity with Charlie.  I'm just tired.
I hate myself for feeling this way.  I have everything in the world.  I have a wonderful life and have no right to feel the way I do.  So the self loathing just gets worse and the whole sadness thing in general gets worse.  It's a viscous cycle.

Sorry to get so personal.  I just felt like I needed to get some things/ feelings down.  I'm taking the necessary steps to fix myself and fix this funk.  It just might mean that I slack on things such as housework and my blog.