Snuggle Bug

Ok, so I started reading this "self help" book... something like Siblings Without Rivalry. Only because lately I've been hearing all these horror stories of siblings and how they hate each other. Or even how because of a rivalry growing up they don't get along as adults, or how the three year old will take out anger on a newborn etc. It totally freaked me out and that was a suggested read. I didn't have a sister growing up, so I don't know how to handle that sister relationship, or don't know if I'll be able to diffuse arguments etc. All I know about is having a little brother. And although we got a long at times growing up, we also fought a lot. My poor mother would always say, "why can't you two just get along" " you two are supposed to love each other you are family" "my siblings never fought like you two" etc. I just figured everyone I knew didn't get along with their sibling so I figured it was normal. Eventually Derek and I got to were we are today and I consider him a friend not just my brother now. I think all the scary crap we went through three years ago with Oliver really helped solidify that relationship as well.

Anyway, thinking back to when he was born though... I don't remember it at all. I vaguely remember my mom being pregnant with him. I was three and a half (a year older then Natalia is now). I remember him being around as a baby, and I've seen a lot of pictures of us together. But the memory that stands out most to me is one where my mom is sitting down holding him/possibly feeding him. I walked up to her and said, "how come you don't snuggle with me anymore." That memory right there BREAKS MY HEART! Why? Because of this:

This little girl is so incredibly snugly and cuddly. I'm seriously afraid of that statement coming out of her mouth once Lydia is here. My little snuggle bug, what would I do if I let you down and you were to feel like Mommy didn't want to snuggle with you anymore. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. So the purpose of this blog... to remind myself to snuggle with you whenever possible. If Lydia is sleeping, snuggle time. If someone else is holding Lydia, snuggle time. As I get more comfortable with having both of you around I will make sure to snuggle both of you at the same time as well. I may not be the perfect mommy... but I will try my very hardest to be the best mommy to you two girls that I can possibly be. And, if you are reading this some day please don't roll your eyes at me. Be patient with me because I admit I don't know what it's like to have a sister, and I will be jealous at times that you two have each other, so I might not always think your fights are justified.

On another note, HOLY FRICK ON A STICK, my tailbone hurts. Last night about 1:30am it just started throbbing. Kept me up for a good two hours too. Still hurts, not really sure how to fix it either. This didn't happen when I was pregnant with Natalia so it's definitely new to me. GRR. I'll keep trying the different things everyone has suggest and just pray for some relief. =) 32 weeks tomorrow, stay tuned for a 32 week post and pics!